Land of the lost

Today Jr. lost his Ipod at RayRay's volleyball game. I felt so bummed because lately it feels like we lose everything around here. Our computer crashed and I think we lost everything on our hard drive...including 4 years of pictures :( I'm going to try and find a place that can at least salvage our pictures but I will be heart broken if they arent able to retrieve them. We're going to start saving for a new computer and I'll be smarter this time and buy a back up hard drive. Good thing black friday is coming up!

Summer 2010

We had an awesome summer this year. Jr. stayed busy with special date nights with his nieces and our boys, RayRay was baptized, got in a lot of swimming time with his cousins, Uncle Ray & Uncle Misi moved in with us, Lekas talent of drawing came out, and also did plent of swimming, I was busy in Primary and with work, we took a family trip to Florida. It has been hectic but very fun and rewarding. Our computer crashed last week :( so I dont have a lot of pictures to choose from but above are some pictures of our Summer memories of 2010.

This past weekend Jr. and I were crazily immersed (sp) in a Benefit concert in honor of our brother Naki. We have been planning and preparing for this event for about 6weeks straight. We had been so busy that we didnt process.... that it has been a whole year without him. Jr. did give into that tonight and made some good tear soup. How does one really go on living when someone so dear to you passes on? Not sure but it's been a year and he's still trying to figure things out. Jr. has had many days where he cannot do anything. Depression could quickly be around any corner for him and he knows that. But he works so hard at staying true to Heavenly Fathers plan. I'm so proud of this boy. He amazes me on a daily basis. He has the purest and most genuine heart.

Along with this we have fortunately figured out some important truths. Things I know for sure, # 1. when we are serving others especially Naki's family it doesnt hurt so bad. #2. When we are attending church regularly and fulfilling our callings, again it doesnt hurt so bad. #3. when we are more concerned for others than ourselves......we found our strong, confident selves again.

I received so many kind and sweet compliments about the Concert Jr. and I organized for Naki's family this past weekend. People wrote on my facebook page, sent me heartfelt texts, called me on the phone but the truth is, serving others is really whats helping US! So it's a little selfish in a way too. I felt kinda guilty accepting thanks and praises when I know that I am the one receiving strength and blessings. But I do have to agree with so many that felt like Friday night was amazing. Everything really fell into place so beautifully, that I know for sure (this makes #4) that Heavenly Father and Naki were really mine and Jrs helping hand that night. From the weather to the music to the food to the gracious donations.We're total ameturs what do we know about organizing an event like this? uh nothing! But I should note that we've also been so blessed with this great set of family and friends who are willing to work 12 hours straight without pay..... or food for that matter. I really do adore my sisters and friends. Its hard for me to make decisions without their advice and stamp of approval on it. And not to mention we also have kids who are so flexible that being at a Amphitheater all day was -in Rays words- totally awesome :). This weekend was perfect. I felt Naki's presence so strong at the concert that I started to cry while watching people in line buy nachos!

Although Naki passing away has been tough on my little family..... especially for my Jr. I am starting to see some rainbows in the clouds. Thank you all for your continued love and support for our family and especially Naki's girls.

NAKI'S GIRLS benefit concert:

Please come!

About 4 nights ago my Leka bear out of the blue says to me "Mom'a, I miss Uncle Naki". He had tears in his eyes and climbed up on my lap so I could comfort him. I get similar remarks from RayRay. Everytime we pass BYU he tells me of the time Uncle Naki took him on a special date to BYU and how he got to meet all the BYU coaches and how Naki took him to J dawgs. He loves, loves, loves telling that story.

These boys love their Uncle and we are constantly talking and referring to things regarding him. He's never far from our hearts. He is so special to us. On Oct. 15, 2010 which is Jr.'s 29th birthday we are putting on a Benefit concert for Naki's family. Abby asked me when she found out about it why Jr. wanted to do this on his Birthday, we should be doing something for Jr..... Throwing this concert in memory of Naki is the best gift Jr. could receive for his birthday. He wants nothing more than to celebrate Naki's life and help Abby and the girls out (which he's had strong promptings that this is what he needs to be doing) on his special day. So please come and tell all your friends and family to come. It's a great cause and it's going to be a great show. It will be at the AF amphitheater (across from the Timpanogos Temple) . Starts at 7:30p.m. and it's $10.00 for adults and $5.00 for kids 12 and under.

Please post this picture on your blogs, facebook and where ever you can. We'd really appreciate it.

Big boys

I cant believe Ray is in cub scouts already. Seeing him in his uniform made me realize how quick he is growing up and Leka too. Love these cuties.

Balance

Leka has been lying a lot lately. About weird and random things. He's been really destructive and also breaking things at Grandma and Grandpas house. It's driving me crazy. I honestly and truly believe if you start lying at an early age it can lead to bigger problems when you become an adult if nothing is done to rectify it. I want to nip it in the bud immediately! Jr. and I have talked to him Grandpa Maile had a big talk with him, we've put him in time out, we've spanked him, taken favorite toys away and it's still happening. I keeping asking myself....why he feels the need to lie or be dishonest. I heard him tell Ray the other day that he went to a chicken farm and got to hold a pig which he's never done. So I wonder.... is it just his wishes of what he could do or wants to do and he verbalizes it?But he also lied about breaking things and blaming it on imaginary people.

Again, why does he feel the need to lie? Since Ray and Leka were born I've always worked full time. My current schedule at work is 9:30-5:30, then I come home and make some half-A dinner (pardon my French but if you had to eat this so-called dinner you'd call it that too), do a load or 2 of laundry which is altogether tiring because our washer isn't working properly, help Ray with homework, shower the boys, then put them to bed. Then our weekends are absolutely nuts. From birthdays to baptisms, blessings, shows, etc.

When have I made time to teach my boys important lessons that I know they need? Lessons that only I their mother could teach them? I remember from General Conference and a million other times that mothers are to nurture and guide their children. When do I do that? We are horrible at reading scriptures and holding Family night consistently and saying family prayer. Where are my priorities? I swear whenever I feel things are going well at work things are falling apart elsewhere. And vice versa. Where is my balance???

The truth is, I have no balance in my personal life. I know Leka and Ray are crying out and begging me for MY attention. They want Mom to be home when they get home from school. I know that for a fact because when I was growing up my Mom also worked full time and didn't get home till well after dinner. On her days off I remember coming home from school and just feeling the warmth of her spirit there. I would live for her days off when I was a kid. Just knowing she was home gave me so much peace. I want so much right now to be home with my boys. I know that it might not stop Leka from lying but at least I'll be there for him to guide him....to nurture him. I'm in tears writing this because I've always wanted to work. I feel comfortable in the work place and often get crazy bored and mean when I'm home to long ask Jr. he'll tell you.

At work when I am assigned projects I always have an end in mind and the goal that I want to accomplish. You'd think I'd do that with my family. What is the goal I want to accomplish? I want an eternal family. I dont want my kids to go down the wrong path because they needed me and I wasnt there for them. I need to have a happy medium. I need balance people! Not sure how it's going to happen but let me tell you, I am counting the days down until Jr. is done with school and gets a good job. But I'm also so scared that I wont be a good stay at home Mom and they'd wish I'd go back to work. Until that day comes I need to prioritize my time and always, always put my family and their needs first. Which I feel I do with their temporal needs, I feel those needs are being met but not with their spiritual needs. Again I didnt really have an end in mind when starting this post but I know it's something I wanted to get down on paper. Well wish me luck. I'm going to need it.