Dreadlock Rasta

Jr. and I agree on most things but there is 1 thing that we dont agree on and it's hair. I want our boys hair to always look neat and short and he wants long hair, or a fo-hawk (sp), or a rugby mullet, steps, etc. Ughhh, it drives me up the wall and whenever we argue I threaten to cut whose ever hair he's made his "project". Leka is his current project. He's always wanted dreads. He had them for a little while when we first got married but cut them before we went through the Temple. He's now taking it out on Leka.

This is my new Leka. I do have to say that when I'm around people that like them I to like them (a little). But at church when I see everyone staring at him I hate them. I've been so tempted to put gum in his hair while he sleeps then we'd be forced to cut them. Crazy right? I think Abby talked me out of doing that one. Even though I cant stand it, there is one thing above my hatred for wild hair and that is Jr. being upset or disappointed in me. That one thing alone keeps me from acting out all my crazy thoughts of how I can get the boys hair looking neat. So now I have to live with my little Buffalo solider..... dreadlocks Rasta. He's still so dang cute though.

Soul Food

We've been lucky enough to have Jr.s cousins from Florida staying with us this week. Ray and Misi are Jr.s first cousins. Their Mom and Jr.s Dad are brother and sister. And as they've been here making all of us laugh and playing with the kids, I kept wishing they lived closer.....like in our house. The girls that snatch these boys up are going to be lucky girls. Since Naki died this is the first time I've seen Jr. be his old self, laughing and constantly joking around. I loved every second of it. For this week at least, they have definitely been food for the soul. Love these boys!!!

Infinite-Power-of-Hope

Infinite-Power-of-Hope

This messages literally brought me to tears. Click above to watch.

Update

I've been feeling so BLAH that it's been torture to even think about blogging but I know I should. Things have been busy in our home. I turned 29 a couple of days ago and I have to admit that I dont mind getting older. My outlook on aging has really changed. The one thing I do mind is aging and not being in good shape. I am desperately trying to stay motivated and do workouts that work for me. In the past I've always tried what's worked for someone else but I'm so over that. I want to do what works for me. I haven't figured it out yet, but I know I am getting closer.

Ray and Leka loved every second of the Holidays and cried when we took the Christmas decorations down. They are back in school and for the most part are really happy being there. Ray is improving in areas he struggled last year. I think his teach Ms. Frost is an amazing teacher. Ray thinks the world of her and so do we. Leka had and MRI a couple days before Christmas and it was miserable. They had to give him an IV in both his arms and they had a hard time locating his veins so they had to maneuver the needle around, he was in so much pain. His cardiologist called me yesterday at work and gave me the results. It was completely normal. He still has a congenital abnormality. His recommendation is to monitor him closely for the next year and make a decision about surgery from there. There is a small risk in not having surgery but there are also risks in having it so we're fasting and praying to know what Heavenly Father would have us do right now. But Leka is such a happy boy and loves preschool especially because he gets to go with one of his cousins.

Jr. is back at school and surprisingly doing really well. I say surprised because I know how much suffering he's going through. He is always trying to be strong, but listening to him cry in the shower because he thinks I cant hear him, cuts me so deep it's hard to recover. It's so hard to explain but I know that things will never be same in our lives. I've been reading my sisters blog and know it's the same in their home times a million. Uggghh our new life is so hard.

Jr. and I had to renew our Temple recommends with a member of our Bishopric last night and he said that people that have to endure these kind of trials are a truly special people. I truly believe that of my sister Abby, my husband and our family. They are so special to me that it physically hurts when I am not with them. I thank Heavenly Father for them everyday.

Some Holiday Happenings

Ray and Leka made a short snowman with Grandpa Maile

We got to ride the on the Polar Express with our cousins. It was so fun!! Leka was in train heaven. Has been part of all his conversations lately...Leka are you hungry? He answers- when I was the Polar Express I was not hungry at all. We were lucky we got to go.

Jane Lavea (my sister in law) got Employee of the year at our End of the year Pinnacle Christmas party. Go Jane!
The kids got to meet Santa and tell the elves what they wanted. Eli and Eva were here also but were hiding. Santa is great but they just didn't want him to touch them. So cute.
Our loud little group.
Leka loved this train. Once he saw it he took off in full sprint (cowboy boots and all) to touch it.
Me and the boys decorating our Christmas tree that RayRay picked out. Good choice Ray.

Random

There are quite a few things that have happened and going on right now, so I labeled this post "random" because I will be skipping here and there.

First off.... our little Leka bear (Maati Semisi Kitione Maile III) turned 4 years old. I love this kid so much. He is such a crack up and keeps us all on our toes. Happy Birthday baby! We are so lucky to have you in our lives.

A couple of weeks ago our pediatrician recommended that we take our boys to see a cardiologist. We set up the appointments and headed up to Primary Children's hospital. They found that Leka has a heart abnormality in his right artery. He was born with it and will most likely need surgery to correct it. He has an MRI scheduled in 2 weeks and we'll make a decision on surgery from there. It's been scary but I know things will work out. Please keep my little guy in your prayers. Ray is a o.k. but is having a hard time accepting that he is 100% healthy. He thought for sure he had a heart abnormality too causing him to be a slow runner. Sorry pup.

Jr. and I are currently trying to get back into the gym. Man it's hard! Last year Naki ran the 5k on the 4th of July and wanted Jr. to run it also, but he didn't. He's never had the desire to be a runner and it didn't sound fun to him. That's one of my long term goals in life is to be a runner. I know it's something I can do but I just have to commit to it. It's always the commitment and hard work part that gets me.....Anyways, a couple hours after Naki passed away Jr. was talking to Jethro and they agreed that they will train and run the 5k in 2010 for Naki. And probably every year until they cant run anymore. Running, I think for Jr. will never be fun but he has a different outlook on life these days and will do anything to honor and feel close to his brother. Anyone that wants to run it with us is welcome to come. Let me know because we're making shirts.

Also, Jr. wanted me to blog on here that he will be holding a benefit concert every year for Abby and the girls. It will most likely be held at UVU and in October. He will be calling all his musician friends, Naki's friends that he knows, everyone and anyones friends to throw the biggest and best concert they possibly can for them. We know that time has been passing by but please don't forget about them. Please keep them in your prayers and continue to donate if you can by clicking on the Naki's girls icon at the right side of my page.

Lastly I wanted to personally thank our "T.V. fairy"....you know who you are! Other then when he's around his family/nieces it's been hard to see Jr. smile which most of you know is out of character for him. And after the whole broken T.V. thing with Leka it was even harder. But last week we had a "T.V. fairy" buy Jr. a brand spankin new flat screen T.V.! Oh my goodness was he surprised. I guess he really didn't smile though, he cried mostly, but happy tears. Thank you, Thank you! You are amazing and so giving, we do not know where we'd be without you in our lives! I am not naming her for fear of embarrassing her but also because almost everyone that reads my blog has already been told personally (by Jr.) the story and who the "T.V. fairy" is. Her name does rhyme with Thabby. Love you Thabby!

Why I love the Cougs

Lately at work I haven't been myself. I always feel on the verge of tears. And I'm kind of a grouch. I'm usually known as easy going and a trash talker at work. I'm always trash talking the boys in our dept. about sports. We're always talking about college football and the Jazz. But lately I've been silent. All I've even been interested in is my family.

A couple of weeks ago my co-worker Gentry and I placed $5.00 on the TCU vs. BYU game. I obviously was betting that the Cougs would win and he was betting against us. Well, the outcome was that we got spanked by TCU and I had to pay up. Jr. had an idea to pay him in pennies. So that's what I did. We went to the bank a week and a half ago and turned in a $5.00 bill and asked for 500 pennies in return. I put the pennies in a empty water bottle and placed it on his desk and walked away. As I walked away I just heard him laugh so loud. A couple of minutes later he comes over and asks what other games I'd like to bet on because he likes getting free money. Little punk! :-)

Then everyone started to ask me why I loved BYU so much. I've never really thought of it, so I sat there for a while. I'm usually the type of person that talks first and thinks later. But I've been working on that weakness lately, so I was really concentrating and thinking hard of the many reasons I love the Y. Then someone asks "what was the first game you attended". My memory is not what it once was so I sat there for even longer. Then the 'aha' moment comes and so do the flood gates of tears. The first game I attended was in 2001 when Jr. and I just recently got married. It was when Naki still played for the Y. I've had nothing else on my mind but Naki, Abby and the girls. I've wanted to blog about him for sometime but I've been hesitant fearing that something I write would cause Abby and the girls more pain. Which they do not need anymore of. But tonight reading Abby's blog about mourners rights I felt it would be ok. I hope it is.

I remember at that game I attended with Jr. and his parents, Baby RayRay, Abby, Ginny, and some of Naki's girls. I believe Malia was only 1 year old. I also remember Jr. wearing Naki's blue BYU jump suit and being so proud and cheering when Naki was playing. I don't even know who they played but I remember loving the atmosphere there and being amazed hearing 65,000 people singing the fight song every time the Cougars scored. I remember wishing that I knew the words to the song. I know that was the game that truly converted me and I've bled blue ever since.

Poor boys in my dept. when they saw me having flash backs and tears filling my eyes they totally backed off. The word AWKWARD kept coming into my mind as I was trying to answer their questions and fight back tears. A lot of people I work with, Gentry included play softball with our family so they know Naki and love and respect him just as much as I do. During the BYU/TCU game our family got to go onto the field while they honored Naki by having a moment of silence for him. It was so awesome it just added to the many reasons I love BYU. Here are a couple of pictures from the game.

As for being a grouch at work....... I think it's that I cant shake this feeling that my family has been totally ripped off and there is nothing I can do about it. I cant file a complaint to the BBB or to the Attorney Generals office. So when I hear that from customers about their accounts I think...yeah, well suck it up! I wonder if there will ever be a time when I don't feel this way. I am thankful that I came to the realization (granted that it was at work) the true reason I love the Cougs. Because of Naki. As we watched our team get beat by TCU we started to see many fans leave. Jr. and I kept looking at each other and silently wondering if we should leave too. Then Jr. said to me...Naki would be so mad if we left and call us fair weather fans. I never want to be considered a fair weather fan. Naki is the truest BYU fan I know. So we stayed the entire game and enjoyed every minute of it. Go Cougs!